For a full comparison of Standard and Premium Digital, click here.Ĭhange the plan you will roll onto at any time during your trial by visiting the “Settings & Account” section. Premium Digital includes access to our premier business column, Lex, as well as 15 curated newsletters covering key business themes with original, in-depth reporting. Standard Digital includes access to a wealth of global news, analysis and expert opinion. So the next time you indulge in one of these celebrations of the undead, consider the message you’re sending to today’s youth.During your trial you will have complete digital access to FT.com with everything in both of our Standard Digital and Premium Digital packages. I am a lucky, lucky guy who is invested in my local community. I have a job (I own my own mobile dog-grooming business), I drive my kids to theater day camp, and I have a loving wife who helped me build a great cage in the basement. Sure, once a month my whole body contorts into that of a gigantic hideous beast who craves flesh, but other than that I live a pretty normal life. Why? Because most of the time I am one of you. ![]() I’m not glamoring people in nightclubs, okay. And even then, we stick to attacking shady humans who are wandering in the forest alone at night and seem really annoying. I want to make it clear that we do so only as a last resort, when the chains we’ve used to restrain ourselves have failed. There is simply no ethical consumption in vampirism. I resent the notion that killing animals at all should be considered a fine alternative to people. Some vampires will try to tell you they’re “different,” that they only “suck the blood out of rats and bears and stuff.” But, like, what kind of life is that? You’re just gonna suck squirrels dry for eternity? And you know what, some bears are endangered. But why would a vampire promote the guy who works for them into their own job? They wouldn’t. But that is classic vampire propaganda! Those bloodsuckers know that a human’s greatest fear is death, so they wave the prospect of eternal life in familiars’ faces, hoping they don’t think too hard about all the murder it takes to sustain it. Vampires also live forever, which some people seem to think is great, because I guess they really love their jobs or something? These same people tolerate all the mass murder because they think, Well, what if someday I get a shot at immortality? Then I’d want people to give me a break for my incessant need to kill. French novelist Honoré de Balzac once wrote that behind every great fortune is a great crime, and never has that been more true than in the case of a being whose continued existence requires the murder of everyone else. If time is money, a vampire is the wealthiest being on the planet. But the things that make vampires appealing to you - their hotness, their power, their affluence - are also what make them extremely evil. ![]() Even Nosferatu dresses well, and, I mean, he can simply hypnotize people into thinking so anyway. ![]() Vampires are an immortal humanoid species that skews sexy. ![]() I can understand on some level why vampires seem cool. I’m saying that because vampires live by drinking the blood of human beings, which should be enough to make you realize that they are actually bad. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a werewolf. Photo-Illustration: Vulture Photos by Lionsgate, Warner Bro.
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